The search continues...

In this post, I'll be discussing the fourth and final advert in the series. If you want to watch the advert first, here it is:

Kit and Loreth are travelling uphill. Meanwhile, the quality of the ads is going the other way at this point – downhill.

The above shot seems like a rip-off of Lord of the Rings, but the first LOTR film came out in 2001, one year after this advert. So if anything, Peter Jackon ripped off these adverts.

Our two explorers enter a cave.

On the wall is an ancient parchment with a message written in strange symbols.

Wondering what it says? Well, I deciphered the message. I'm not kidding. There was a cypher in the press campaign, along with a better copy of the parchment.

The message reads:

Men will come from this world, and others, in search of the tree with five fruits, but she will elude them, until one day a boy shall be sent by a birdman across the river. He shall overcome his first great adversary in this very cave, without weapons, standing where you are now reading these words. After crossing the mountains he will discover five paths and will not know which to take. The true path to the Rowntree will be one he must take alone.

That's pretty cool admittedly. As he's reading those words on the ancient scroll, they're describing what's happening in the cave in real-time. It's like that scene from the Doctor Who episode "Don't Blink", where Sally Sparrow is tearing wallpaper off the wall, revealing decades-old messages telling her to "duck", "duck now!" and she ducks and some pottery narrowly misses her head.

The message on the scroll also tells you what the next advert would have been if Nestle hadn't cancelled the campaign: "he will discover five paths and will not know which to take". How much do you want to bet that the Fruit Pastilles would have helped him choose the right path?

The 'first great adversary' turns out to be a shit puppet of an anorexic tiger:

It's actually called an Orph cat. And if you google "Orph cat", the only relevant result you'll find is this very website, thus confirming that no one else cares about the search for the Rowntree and I'm wasting my life writing these blog posts.

Kit flings one of his fruit pastilles at the cat puppet, just as I'd fling a rock at Nestle for making this the last episode.

The cat puppet eats the Fruit Pastille and seems to have an orgasm. I'm not sure that's supposed to happen.

Off-camera, Kit says, "The fruit pastilles had saved me... this time." That's a strange thing to say. It's as though Kit thinks the fruit pastilles are sentient and helping him on his quest. But he also has little confidence in the fruit pastilles, since they only saved him "this time". I reckon he should be a bit more grateful to the fruit pastilles since they did just save his life.

And now, with great sadness, I present the final shot of the adverts:

That's the final thing we ever saw because, at this point, Nestle cancelled the campaign.

Did Kit ever make it to the Rowntree? We'll never know.

(I think he died.)