The Search for the Rowntree captured my imagination as a child. Now I'm an adult, the unfinished adverts haunt my dreams and I fear I will never truly sleep until I see that final advert. The mystery drives me like a possessive spirit. I need to see Aaron Taylor-Johnson find the mythical tree that bears five different fruits the same way a teenage boy needs to see topless photos of female models or else his gonads will explode.

With your help, I believe we can force Nestle to finish the campaign.

The plan

There's a online petition to make Nestle to finish the ad campaign. If you want Nestle to finish the adverts, then sign it and send me ten pounds to show your support. Even if you don't want Nestle to finish the adverts, send me the money anyway.

If that petition doesn't work, then I'll make a petition on petition.parliament.uk, where, if we collect at least 200,000 signatures, which is a lot to be fair, then MPs will have no actual choice but to debate whether or not to force Nestle to finish the campaign. At least, I think that's how it works.

Then, if we do get enough signatures, then the police will go round Nestle's headquarters and force them to make the final adverts at gunpoint. Or something like that. I haven't really thought it through yet, to be honest.

What should the final adverts be like?

Rowntree's should bring back Aaron Taylor-Johnson to play Kit, even though he's a Hollywood star now and he probably wouldn't act in Rowntree's adverts even if they offered him a lifetime supply of Fruit Pastilles to do it. They should also bring back whoever played the Sorcerer because he was cool

Here's the story I've thought up for it: Kit has spent the last twenty-something years fruitlessly searching for the tree. (Fruitlessly! Geddit?) He is now an old and broken man, wandering aimlessly across the strange world he now calls home. All that keeps him going is a primal urge to find the cursed Rowntree. Just when he's about to give up hope and hang himself, a mysterious one-eyed raven drops a message onto the ground before him. The message gives him hope that he can finally find the Rowntree - and perhaps even a way home.